Ellen Adarna opened up about her struggles with her mental health in an Instagram video she posted on Friday, March 27. For the first time, the former actress revealed that she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Recently, Ellen went to Bali to undergo mental training. She shared that she had to do it because of the traumatic things she experienced in the past couple of months.
"What led me into that state? I don't want to talk about it in detail, because it's something very personal. So many things happened all at once in a span of four months, or less than four months. Everything happened. All the bad things that I imagined, happened. It was very traumatic for me," she stated.
Ellen then confessed that for years, she was on medication and she had to undergo therapy to combat her mental health conditions.
"My panic attacks were really, really bad, to the point where my body would shake, and then I'd puke. It was so weird."
She continued, "At that time, I didn't know what it was, because I never had anxiety that serious. At first I thought I was going to die. Everything was getting hard, my muscles were getting so stiff, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. And then I'd just end up puking."
Ellen also revealed that she felt deeply sad for the past couple of years.
"I was just also very sad. I was in a very dark place for two years, almost three years. I thought I wasn't going to snap out of it... It was that bad," she said.
Ellen shared that in November 2018 she stopped taking pills and medications because it made her feel "numb."
"I was always sleeping. That was my thing. I'd wake up, and think about sleeping again. I would eat in bed. I wouldn't even shower for days. I was just in bed the whole time," she relayed.
She continued, "When I took it, I didn't feel the sadness, but it didn't make me happy either. I didn't have feelings. I felt like a robot. And yeah that's why I didn't like it."
By the way, I am 101% okay now. No more Meds and Sadness... just love and smiles ❤️ I am out of that black hole ❤️❤️❤️ thank you my mental tor-MENTOR @na.sser7490 for helping me snap out of it. 😂 I will post PART 2(my 14 day mental training experience) soon! Or you can check my IG story Highlights on how i overcame and dealt with my mental illness. #thereishope #youarenotalone @pondoktaksu
This year, she turned to an alternative way to heal. She enrolled herself in a 14-day metal training program in Bali, Indonesia. It's called the Kokoro Program and it aimed to "connect the body, mind, and spirit" according to Ellen. She will share her experience in the program in her next video.