After more than a year of living in Bali, Indonesia during the lockdown, Maxene Magalona has finally settled back into the country along with her husband Robbie Mananquil. The couple had initially flew abroad to attend a one-month yoga training course. They ended up extending their stay after the announcement of a lockdown in the Philippines last year.
Last May 12, Maxene shared a self-portrait while doing quarantine at home during her second week back in Manila. She accompanied it with the caption “I took this photo exactly a week after I had just arrived back home in Manila. It was my first time to experience being in quarantine as I was used to going out in Bali everyday. I tried to go about my days as normally as I could and just continued with my daily routine. I even made a schedule of things to do that would keep me busy and productive. Being the 'strong independent woman’ that I am, I was determined to keep the situation under control.”
In the same post, the 34-year-old actress admits what she was going through emotionally when she came back. She wrote, “On this day, however, I started getting a migraine and my body began to physically collapse. When this happens, I usually get frustrated because I don’t like the feeling of ‘losing control.’ I started getting emotional and instead of holding back my tears, I just allowed them to come. Gradually, the emotions that I had been keeping bottled up inside of me for God knows how long started to surface.
“When I was younger, I used to spend my time running away and denying what I was feeling. I turned to partying and alcohol to numb myself from feelings of anxiety, fear and pain. Now, being in lockdown leaves me no choice but to face and sit with the discomfort. Although this can be quite terrifying and painful, I actually welcome it so that I can hold space for my emotions and allow them to flow through me. I’ve built a wall around my heart for so long, trying to be tough and protect myself from becoming vulnerable only to find out that it takes true strength and courage to feel all my feelings.”
Although initially intended as a message for her friend, Maxene said she chose to go public with her feelings and show her followers her true emotions during mental health awareness week.
“Now, even though we don’t normally post these kinds of things online, I choose to be honest and honor my sadness and grief as I understand that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life. We must allow ourselves to feel all our emotions and not just the ‘good’ ones because we wouldn’t even know what ‘good’ feels like if not for what makes us feel ‘bad,’” she added.
In another post, Maxene shared photos of her pet dog and cat Coffee and Yoyo who have also been serving as emotional therapy animals for her.
She wrote, “Most of my days are spent playing and cuddling with my two little loves Coffee and Yoyo. I noticed that ever since I’ve been engaging and interacting more with them, my overall mood and well-being have improved so much. Studies show that pets, especially dogs and cats, can reduce stress, anxiety and depression. This is why I thank God everyday for blessing me with their tiny hearts and souls.”