Three years after the tragic death of Hashtags member Franco Hernandez, Janica Nam Floresca shared she’s now ready to move forward through an open letter.
Accompanied with visuals of herself standing on a beach, Janica began by looking back at some of her memories with Franco.
Janica admitted she always hoped for some sort of miracle that would bring Franco back to life.
“Dear Franco, kumusta ka na? Peaceful at masaya siguro d’yan no? It’s been a while. Tatlong taon na pala. Umaasa pa ako dati na sana hindi ‘to totoo, sana may miracle pa at babalik ka,” she stated.
Sharing what she felt when Franco died, she said: “Sobrang hirap nu’ng nawala ka. Bawat pikit ng mga mata ko, umuulit-ulit lang sa utak ko lahat ng nangyari at para akong nalulunod ulit.”
She also revealed she carried with her for the past three years the idea that she might have saved his life if she would have been braver. “Dala-dala ko sa isip ko lahat ng sana at siguro — na sana kung mas naging malakas pa ako, siguro naligtas pa kita.”
“Minsan tinatanong ko sa sarili ko? How can I stay strong? How can I continue to smile and be happy? How can I continue life when half of me left with you?” she added.
Despite the short amount of time she spent with him, Janica said she’s still thankful because she was the last person Franco loved.
“I’ve always thought that I’d be spending the rest of my life with you. But you spent the rest of your life with me and I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful that I was the last person you loved. Even if it was just for a short amount of time, I knew it was real,” she said.
On why it took her some time to move on, she said: “Alam kong maraming nagtataka kung bakit ang tagal ko’ng naging okay. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi mo masusukat ang tagal ng sakit na naiwan sayo. My love for you was the only thing that kept me going. Kasi alam kong gusto mong kayanin ko.”
Showing screenshots of messages of support sent to her by some fans, she said: “Nakatulong din sakin ‘yung suporta galing sa mga taong kahit hindi ko naman kilala. Kahit simple messages lang nila, sobrang nakakataba ng puso.”
She also thanked her family and friends who mourned with her and gave her support in the last few years.
“Nandyan din ‘yung family and friends ko para samahan ako. Alam kong hindi rin naging madali para sa kanila, pero never nila akong iniwan. At higit sa lahat, si God. Kahit sobrang nahihirapan na ‘ko, alam kong di N’ya ako pinabayaan,” she stated.
“Your presence taught me how to be strong, but your presence taught me how to be stronger,” Janica said.
Revealing she’s now ready to move forward, she said: “Mas handa ako na akong magpatuloy ulit. Mas handa na ‘kong kilalanin ang sarili ko at kung ano pa ‘yung mga kaya kong gawin. Mas handa na akong sumabk sa buhay na akala ko hangganan na. Mas handa na ‘ko.”
Despite constantly telling herself for the past three years that she was content with being alone, Janica said love came when she least expected it.
“Franco, I know you want me to be happy and I can finally say, I AM. I was content with being alone. I was okay with the thought of not being with someone else for the rest of my life. But that's a funny thing about love — it comes when you least expect it. Kahit ano pala pagdaanan mo, love will really find its way back to you,” she said.
“And as I unfold this new chapter of my life, ready na ako harapin ito with a grateful heart,” she said.
Thanking Franco for everything he had done, she said: “Grateful to all the people and learnings that shaped me to be the woman I am now. Thankful ako sa mga taong naniwala. Thankful ako to my family and friends. Thankful ako kay God.”
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Janica ended her letter thanking Franco for the journey she had with him.
“You don't have to worry about me, Franco. Okay na ‘ko. I will always be thankful to you for looking after me all these years. I will never forget the memories we've made because it was never about our ending, it was about the journey — and I am thankful for the time that was given to us,” Janica said.
“Ngayon, ready na ako to move forward and live life with a stronger, happier version of myself,” she said.
It was in 2017 when Franco died in a drowning accident. In September last year, Janica confirmed she is now in a relationship with a certain Lorenz Sia.