Carla Humphries opened up about her struggles while living in the US on her own.
Carla sat down with Michelle Madrigal to talk about life in showbiz and dealing with depression.
“Mahirap talaga. You’ll cry a lot. And I moved here alone. No family, no support system,” Carla said of her experience battling with depression as she struggled to live in the US on her own.
In the said vlog, Michelle shared her thoughts on the way Filipinos react whenever someone admits to battling depression.
“Sa ‘tin kasi sa Filipino culture, parang when someone says they’re depressed or whatever, they don’t acknowledge that. And honestly, you have to. ‘Cause sa ‘tin, ‘Oh malungkot ka lang. Tomorrow you’ll be fine. Umiyak ka lang. ‘Wag ka masyado mag-isip’. Masyado ka nag-iisip eh,’” Michelle said.
She went on: “Depression is real. Like for people, they neglect it. And they don’t accept it. Kasi for them, parang embarrassment ‘yun if you’re feeling those emotions.”
“So, when someone tells you, you get to know them. You have to hear their stories. ‘Cause sometimes, kung ‘yung anak mo they come to you, it means that they’re asking for help. You have to acknowledge. You have to help them out. Because if not, they will rely on other things,” she continued.
Carla, for her part, added: “And when you’re suppressed, that’s when you end up doing toxic things or you poison your life kasi hindi mo ma-release ‘yung mga [emotions mo].
“Or you can’t talk to anybody. You feel like ‘Oh well, my mom, my dad or my sister, they don’t even listen to me. They think wala lang ‘to. It’s just in my head,” Michelle remarked.
Meanwhile, Carla opened up for the first time about her life in the US following her unexpected move before the pandemic.
“I’ve been wanting to actually tell my story for so long. And I’ve been filming so much of it but since I had so much going on, I didn’t have the courage to put something out,” Carla shared.
Carla — whose real name is Madeleine — said she never planned on moving to the States.
“It was really tough because I hadn’t really planned on moving to the United States. I was here for a week and my friend had told me like you should totally come to LA and I came here thinking tingnan ko nga kung I can live here,” Carla stated.
But according to Carla, her constant search for her true self led her to LA.
“I didn’t have any big ideas na I’m going to come here and I’m going to do this, I’m going to do that. I was like ‘Tingnan ko nga ‘cause I feel like everyone in my life has a different stage already and I felt like I needed to search for myself in another place. And I felt like LA was calling me,” she said.
According to Carla, her sudden move overwhelmed her because her family members were in the Philippines at the time.
“I came out here and the pandemic hit. When the pandemic hit, sa totoo lang, I was overwhelmed because I was in a new country, I had no family and friends in Los Angeles. My only friend was nice enough to introduce me to his family, Dante Basco and his family took me in during the pandemic,” she said.
Revealing her struggles, she said: “I was alone mentally. Mentally, I was in the Philippines, thinking of the worst, worrying about my family, didn’t know if I should go back or stay here. I had to figure out how to take care of myself, I didn’t have a car until now. And I just figured out how to get around. I would walk at least 10 miles a day.”
Debunking the idea that those who live in the States tend to be rich, Michelle said: “People think basta nag-America ka lang, mayaman ka na.”
“No. Actually, you need to struggle and hustle,” Carla responded.
While she wanted to remain on the creative side of her career, Carla said life in the States forced her to switch jobs.
She said: “I really want to stay in the creative field, but also, you have to be able to support yourself day-to-day. And until now, everything that I spend, I still convert it to pesos. And I’m like ‘Wait, I’m going to eat fruit for 500 pesos? Like why?’”
Sharing her realizations, she said: “I realized my resilience. The beautiful thing about the Philippines is you’ll never feel alone kahit you’re around strangers, hindi ka magugutom. You always have people ask you how you are. Here talaga, it’s like every man for themselves because it’s hard enough to support yourself.”
She added: “So, if you find enough good people who will give a helping hand, then you’re very lucky. But it’s not always the case. And you’ll really grow up here.”
Watch the video below:
Discovered at the young age of 11, Carla Humphries has been in showbiz for more than two decades now.
Meanwhile, Michelle Madrigal was part of the reality talent search Star Circle Quest.
Both used to be part of ABS-CBN’s talent management arm Star Magic.