After several years of suffering from drug addiction, Hollywood actress Amanda Bynes is back on the cover of Paper Magazine for its “Break the Internet” issue to celebrate her sobriety.
In the cover story, the 32-year-old star opened up about her previous struggle with substance abuse. "Even though everyone thought I was the 'good girl,' I did smoke marijuana from that point on. I didn't get addicted [then] and I wasn't abusing it. And I wasn't going out and partying or making a fool of myself...yet. Later on it progressed to doing molly and ecstasy,” confessed Amanda.
#BreaktheInternet: Amanda Bynes. Having spent years out of the spotlight, Bynes steps back in and opens up about her tumultuous — and remarkable — journey. #linkinbio Story by @abbyschreiber28 Photos by @daniellelevitt Art Direction by @dwndwntwn Styling by @neverhavetotweet Hair by @samiknighthair Makeup by @edwardcruzmakeup Set Design by @_coopervasquez_ Fashion Direction: @miaasolkin
According to her, Adderall became her drug of choice after learning that the pill helps women to stay thin. Amanda said that she went as far as faking an attention deficit disorder just so she can get her hands on the medicine.
"When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way]. I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorize them for that matter.
"I remember seeing my image on the screen and literally tripping out and thinking my arm looked so fat because it was in the foreground or whatever and I remember rushing off set and thinking, 'Oh my god, I look so bad’,” shared Amanda, who eventually walked out from the project.
The same happened during the making of her next film, Easy A, where Amanda started to experience adverse effects in her brain due to drug abuse. “I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me. I don't know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things."
Looking back, Amanda, who shot to fame after starring in American sketch comedy show All That from 1993 to 2010, bared that she feels ashamed and embarrassed for her dark past. "I just had no purpose in life," she says. "I'd been working my whole life and [then] I was doing nothing. I had a lot of time on my hands and I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long. ... I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me."
Now, Amanda is nearing her fourth year of being sober, and is set to finish her studies in Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, taking up a degree in Associate of Arts, in Los Angeles this month. However, she has yet to decide whether or not she will make her comeback in showbiz.