Doug Kramer took the initiative to clarify on his Instagram account his wife Chesca Garcia Kramer’s controversial post about the roles of husbands and wives.
Chesca’s post on their family’s official Facebook page last October 16 drew flak and some 23,000 likes, 975 comments and 6,600 shares as of this writing. While some of their followers agreed with the post reiterating the roles of husbands and wives in a Christian household, a majority described the notion as something “dated.”
The post came with an illustration describing the husband as the one who “protects” and “provides for” the family and the wife as “children managers of home.”
Doug, in a three-part post on his Instagram account on Monday, October 23, shed some light on what his wife posted. He started off his explanation by pointing out that they are “not a perfect family” but he claimed that they do strive to make their relationship as husband and wife work.
“Chesca's ultimate desire is not material, it is for a complete family. And a complete family that will last through life's trials and testing,” he wrote.
He claims that he and Chesca are “equals” in their marriage.
“I never treat or make Chesca feel she is inferior to me. In fact, I make her feel more important than myself,” he said.
DOUG: Post 1 of 3: . . To shed light on our recent post about Husband and Wife illustration on Chesca's IG and our Team Kramer FB and even some articles written about it. If you left a comment there, then I think you'll have the time to read below. . . Let me start off by saying this. We are not a perfect family. But we strive every single day to make our relationship work as husband and wife, and especially our roles as father and mother to our 3 beautiful blessings. We need a guideline to make it work, and what better place to look, than in the Bible. . . If you ask me this, do I think my wife Chesca or for any woman for that matter, run a household and family and raise their kids by themselves without their partner? Absolutely! We totally admire them! But my heart breaks to see broken families. In fact, Chesca comes from a broken family. . . Here's a little secret, Chesca's ultimate desire is not material, it is for a complete family. And a complete family that will last through life's trials and testing. . . God designed marriage (not me or my partner) for both husband and wife to have very important roles. And that doesn't mean the wife's role is lesser of the husband. . . I never treat or make Chesca feel she is inferior to me. In fact, I make her feel more important than myself. But this doesn't take away my leadership and stand to lead my family. And I mean this in all aspects, I choose to lead my family financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And guess who is my partner when I fall short at times? My wife. She gives life to our family. She gives me motivation to be the best father and husband to my family. So is a wife's role just as important as a husband? Yes! But do they have the same roles? No! . . READ NEXT 2 POSTS.
Addressing the issue that irked some of their followers, Doug also expounded on how “submission” works in their marriage and one that didn’t stop Chesca from being productive.
“In our setup for our family, when there's decisions or choices that need to be made, I consult my wife first. We talk about it. Her input and suggestion matters because she is the mother of my kids and I love her. In the end, I will consider all things and make the final decision that will be best fit for my family,” Doug explained.
PART 2 OF 3: . . Take this for example, why do you think there's no 2 CEOs to run a company or 2 Presidents to run a country? Because there has to be 1 leader, one voice that you hear deliver the important statements. But I'm sure every decision these leaders make, they consult first and weigh what is the best decision to make. And yes, I know a company and country is different than a family. But if you work on your family properly, then society will become a better place. Character building starts at home. . . Now here's something that "interested" a lot of people. . . Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." . . What does submission to your husband mean according to the Bible? Does it mean like this, "hey you woman, make me a meal, or wash the dishes now. Or give me what my body wants?" Is this the kind of submission you really think the Bible means? In our setup for our family, when there's decisions or choices that need to be made, I consult my wife first. We talk about it. Her input and suggestion matters because she is the mother of my kids and I love her. In the end, I will consider all things and make the final decision that will be best fit for my family. . . Now does Chesca stop being productive and just submit and submit? Nope! In fact, she gets restless at times. But she uses her restlessness to think of how she can also help in other aspects and be productive. Like with finances of the family through business ventures, partnerships and collabs. She's done so much, like Snh, Sniff and Cuddle, ilovekoi swimwear, a salon, etc. These are just ways to show that submission to your husband doesn't mean you also stop existing. . . CONTINUE TO NEXT POST
In the end, Doug underscored that “A marriage is a daily working partnership” and that no marriage is assured of lasting forever.
Post 3 or 3: . Now are all husbands good and faithful to their wives and finances? Unfortunately not. My opinion is, to the wives, if your husband doesn't know how to handle the families finances, I suggest you take over. But teach him too the proper way, so in the future, he may possibly lead and may make better decisions. A marriage is a daily working partnership. . . Lastly. Guess what comes right after the verse on Post 2. And see how valuable the wife is. And I take this to heart. . . Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." . . God's church is not a structure or building. God's church is us. The people. So Jesus gave up His life for US. FOR YOU AND ME. That's how important we are. And in this verse, we are shown and ordered how much a husband should love his wife, to how much Christ loved the church. . . In the end, is there an assurance that our marriage will last forever and that we'll stay true to our covenant as husband and wife? No! We are all imperfect. But you know, because of our need of Christ in our lives, and because of our imperfectness, we have a dependence and faith in Him for Christ to always be in the center of our relationship. Through Him, it's very possible to make this family work. ☝️🙏
Doug and Chesca tied the knot in 2008. They have three kids named Kendra, Scarlett, and Gavin. The family eventually rose to fame in 2013 following their entertaining posts on their social media accounts, which have since gained a following online.