International Filipino singer Charice shared how she tried to suppress her gender identity confusion during her guest appearance on the morning talk show, Magandang Buhay.
Charice, who admitted feeling awkward whenever she talked about it, narrated the time she realized she felt different, “’Nung age ko na ‘yun (6 years old), hindi ko alam ‘yung word na bading, tomboy, lesbian, gay, I didn’t know, hindi ko alam. Kaya ‘dun ko naconfirm, eh. Kasi hindi ko naman alam ‘yung mga words na ‘yun pero ‘yun ‘yung nararamdaman ko.”
While her first crush was a classmate in Grade 1, Charice, who is a self-proclaimed transgender, said that she never had a crush on men.
Hiding her true feelings, Charice said she developed insecurities. As she loves her mother very much, the Pyramid singer said that not knowing how to open up about it. “Growing up, nandoon ‘yung insecurities ko, especially ‘pag nakakakita ako ng iba na open sila and out sila sa family nila or sa friends nila,” she said.
Nonetheless, Charice, who became a hit internationally, managed to belt out songs usually sung by female Pas early on in her career. When asked how she managed to do so, she said, “Medyo cheesy man pong pakinggan, I guess, ‘yun ‘yung ginamit ko siguro. Parang siya ‘yung naging hugot every time na nagpeperform ako.”
“At that time, it felt like I was wearing a mask. Pero in terms of singing na ginawa ko noon, wala naman akong pinagsisihan, lahat ‘yun na-enjoy ko. I guess extra lang ‘yung fact na ang daming secrets in my heart na ‘yun ‘yung hugot kaya mas naging emosyonal lahat ‘yung mga performances,” Charice said.