While she admittedly confessed that she did have good times with her husband of 13 years Cesar Montano, “Dugong Buhay” star Sunshine Cruz categorically said that in retrospect, the bad times eventually outweighed the good in the entire run of their marriage.
“Everybody knows that I gave our relationship a lot of chances. Ilang beses akong humiwalay, nagpaamo, bumalik, humiwalay nanaman, nagpaamo, bumalilk. So parang I know in my heart and in my mind that I did everything to make it work pero talagang 13 years na eh,” said the palpably dismayed Sunshine during her live appearance on “The Buzz” on Sunday.
For the longest time she claimed that she fervently prayed for a miracle that would eventually change her now estranged husband. However, according to her, the miracle came in a different form.
“I got my miracle and it was me who changed. Kasi first boyfriend so, nandoon yung feeling mo na mamamatay ka o hindi mo kakayanin pag nawala yung tao na ito sayo.At ito nga dumating yung milagro na kaya ko naman pala,” said she.
The change of heart she says steeled her to decide that she no longer wants anything to do with Cesar.
“Kelan ko pa pagdedesisyunan na siguro it’s time to love myself more kung kelan 50 anyos na ako? So 13 years is enough kasi yung mga bata yung naapektuhan at sila na mismo ang nagsasabi sakin na merong problema,” revealed the “Galema” star.
Ultimately though, Sunshine underscored that whatever decision she made and will be making in the future about her marriage with Cesar and their family she says was anchored to their three daughters’ future.
“Kasi ayokong pagdating ng panahon na malalaki na sila iisipin nila na kung ano man yung ginagawa o nangyayari sa amin eh normal lang at kailangan rin nilang pagdaaanan. Ayoko. Ako nalang sana ang masaktan wag na ang mga anak ko,” Sunshine explained.
Luckily, though, her children are smart enough to understand what’s going on in their family that they are no longer asking questions as to the possibility of their reconciliation.
“Klaro na sakanila dahil sinabi ko naman sakanila na ‘Alam niyo na ginawa ko ang lahat para magsama talaga kami ng Dad niyo forever pero talagang may mga bagay na hindi talaga pwedeng ipilit,’” Sunshine narrated about what she used to tell her three daughters.
She added, “Kasi hindi rason yung may tatlo lang kayong anak at kailangan magsama parin kayo. No, that would be unfair for me and for my husband and for my children.”
Without needing to mention names, Sunshine recalled that what really made her decide that enough is enough was when one of their daughters saw something on their Dad’s mobile phone.
“Kung kunwari ako lang yung nakaalam, pwede kong palampasin nanaman, paamo nanaman tayo. Pero pag yung mga bata na ang apektado at nagsabing ‘Mom kausapin mo si Dad’ sa mga nangyayari,” she recalled as to what eventually broke the camel’s back.
It may be recalled that when news of their separation made rounds early this year, rumor has it that Cesar has been having an affair with starlet Krista Miller.
Sunshine will be playing yet another mother role on hew upcoming new soap “Galema.” However, this time she would be rivals with her cousin Sheryl Cruz for the love of a man. Asked if this has happened to her in real life, she replied that it has happened to her a lot of times without even batting an eyelash.
The hardest part about having to contend for your husband’s love she says was “parang everyday beauty contest for you. Parang kailangan kahit na nasa bahay ka or wala kang trabaho you always have to look good and be sexy kasi marami kang ka-kumpitensya at maraming gustong umagaw na mas bata at mas maganda sa asawa mo.”
Relationships have always been dubbed as a two-way street where both parties are accountable as to whether their love would bloom or diminish. It was then when Sunshine confessed that her husband’s greatest flaw that caused the demise of their marriage probably was his “weakness” to temptation and his inability to let go of her past.
“Siguro may mga taong hindi makalimot and he would always tell me na dati kasi akong bold star,” she said adding that “Kapag nag-aaway at ikaw ang mali tanggapin mo, wag mong ibalik yung past. Pelikula yun eh. So yun ang masakit sakin, ‘Lagi mong binabalik eh trabaho yun?’”
That her past has seemingly been a longstanding burden to their marriage made Sunshine somewhat regret that she even pursued a sexy career before.
“Dahil sa hirap, dahil sa mga naririnig ko, yeah. Parang ‘Why did I do this? I was so stupid.’ Pero nangyari na yon eh, hindi naman na pwedeng mag-mourn ako forever because of what I did before,” she said.
But, notwithstanding all the controversy and hardship that she’s facing as of the moment, in the end she stressed that she never regretted loving Cesar so much and that she gave up everything for him.
“Kung ano man yung dumating sa akin nagpapasalamat parin ako because it made me a better person, a stronger person. At ang hinding-hindi ko talaga pagsisisihan sa amin ng asawa ko eh yung nagkaroon ako ng tatlong magaganda at mababait na anak,” she ended.